There is a saying, “Why is betrayal very painful? Because it does not come from an enemy but from a loved one.” There is betrayal everywhere: In marriage, in business partnerships, in friendships, in the family, and in organizations. 

It is very painful because there are questions that will remain unanswered, such as, “Why did this person do this to me?”, “Am I not lovable?”, “Am I a bad person?”, “Am I not to be taken seriously?”  Some of the things we experience are: 

• loss of self-esteem and self-worth
• numbness, anger, and difficulty controlling emotions
• intrusive thoughts about the betrayal details, loss of faith in others, suspicion, and hypervigilance
• depression, anxiety, and other mental health symptoms
• physical symptoms, including insomnia, pain, and stomach distress

In perhaps the Gospel’s most-known tale of betrayal, Jesus had the very painful experience of being denied three times and treachery by Judas. This led to his passion and eventual death. 

Three things we can do when betrayed:

1. Embrace the pain. It is real, it is painful and we are not sure how long we will deal with it. Consider it a part of life: There is a time of love and there is a time of pain. 
2. Reach out. Although we question ourselves, although we are afraid to trust and love again, although we don’t want to get hurt again, although the pain will always be there – people need people. 
3. Forgive both the other party and our own self. We forgive the other person even if he/she is not asking for forgiveness. The forgiveness is for ourselves. 

All of us experience betrayal in life. The key is not to let it destroy our relationships because there are so many other people there who know how to value the love that you give.